You know when you meet charismatic and compelling people. They
exude a personal power that?s hard to miss. You can ?feel? their
presence as they enter a room and both male and female heads
turn. For some, this magnetism is as natural as organic food
whilst for others it can be developed over time. Sitting here
today in sunny Queensland Australia, I?m reflecting on what
makes one person more attractive than another. Not just by
physical attraction, but what makes them captivating. I?ve met
absolutely gorgeous guys and girls that after spending five
minutes with them, I?m already trying to find my escape route.
An occasion I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday,
happened about 25 years ago. A friend of mine invited my family
to visit him at a television station he worked at in Sydney. Of
course we jumped at the chance! It?s not every day you got such
an opportunity! We were met at the gate and were led down a
corridor on the way to a sound stage. As I was passing by a room
with an open door, I noticed blonde haired lady was having her
hair done. It was Pamela Stephenson (Dr Pamela Connolly), wife
of Billy Connolly. Our eyes met and she smiled at me. Her smile
radiated the most amazing brilliant light which extended into
and filled the entire dressing room! It was as if I was in the
presence of an angel! Although I haven?t followed her life, I
vividly remember that ?it? quality about her. Jennifer Hawkins
has the ?it? quality as well. When she smiles she absolutely
radiates with light. I have yet to speak with any woman who
feels threatened by her or has said anything nasty about her.
John Travolta is another who is extremely charismatic and has
the ?it? factor. For me personally, I?m attracted to people who
are confident, kind, humorous, smart and at peace with
themselves. So how can you get some of whatever ?it? is? 1.
Peaceful individual?s ? those standing in their personal power -
are relaxing to be around, so if you?re not peaceful, get some
meditation in, or yoga, tai chi, anything really that involves
stilling the mind. Once you know how, apply it across all parts
of your life. Tap into peace whenever you need and want. 2.
Self-confidence is a huge attractor. Start moving out of your
comfort zone by taking baby steps first. Increase the size of
your steps as you become more familiar with what it is you?re
doing. I started to manage my website several months ago and
this was very scary in the beginning. As I gradually became more
adept my confidence in my ability grew and continues to do so.
3. Self-love follows closely behind the self-confidence. When
you have love of self like a ripple on a pond it will permeate
across all time and space. 4. Positive people inspire and
motivate me. However, before you go ahead and start a huge
positive talk fest with anyone and everyone, check out the mood
of others around you. There?s nothing worse than listening to
someone talking to you about fabulously positive and great
things if you?re walking the dark night of the soul. Meet (or
match) others where they?re at first, then gradually build up
the positive talk and watch the relationship unfold. 5. More on
matching body gestures?move in unison with people, breath using
their rhythm, always subtly and always with respect. 6. This is
one point I always mention because of its importance. Be in the
present moment. When you start a conversation with someone or
they with you, be attentive, curious and interested in what
they?re saying. If you?re matching their facial expressions
remember to stop smiling and nodding when they?re talking about
something they find very distressing (unless you have a close
relationship with them?). 7. Start reading newspapers,
magazines, books (fiction and non-fiction). Then you will always
have something to talk about. Find out what others are talking
about. 8. Share some of yourself with others ? not too much at
the beginning of new relationships, and never reveal your entire
life history in your first conversation! 9. Smile! A sincere
smile is when it reaches your eyes. 10. Use your sense of
humour, just make sure it?s at an appropriate time and place. I
once opened a speaking engagement with a funny story - all I
heard were crickets! My next words were ?moving right along
now?.? This list isn?t exhaustive, there?s more you can do but
if you start practicing the above, you?re on you way to having
some ?it? too!
About the author:
Michaela is a Transformational Coach, certified practitioner of
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), writer and Metaphysician who
is totally committed to helping others create positive and
action oriented changes to their lives. Michaela is the author
of several e-books including Book of 10 Colour Meditation
Scripts, and publisher of a monthly newsletter called From My
Desk (see http://www.michaelascherr.com/).
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