|
|
Copyright 2005 Lori Radun How often do you think of family life
as an adventure or delightful experience? If you and your
children are having a good day, then you might buy into this
idea. However, many of you are probably laughing hysterically
now. What is delightful about the children fighting for the
umpteenth time today? Sometimes I bet your family life feels
like a jungle with screeching and swinging monkeys. It can be
all too easy to get caught up in trying to control what is
happening in the home instead of enjoying what is. God blessed
us with beautiful children and we are most in touch with that
precious love when the house is quiet and we watch them
peacefully sleeping. So how can we connect to that love and
enjoyment in the midst of family life? Spend Quality Time with
your Children Spending quality time with children requires your
full and undivided attention. Oftentimes moms are so busy trying
to manage everything that we have one ear to the children and
our mind on a million other things. Our children talk to us and
we say ?uh huh? without really hearing them. We take them to
their games, lessons, etc. but how much do we really interact
with them? To be delighted by your children, you need to be
fully connected to them. You need to listen and marvel at how
truly wonderful they are. Participate in activities they love.
Relish their laughter and their unique personalities. It won?t
be long before your children are grown and gone from the house.
Understand Each Developmental Stage To really enjoy your
children, you need to understand who they are and what they are
going through. The journey of a child to adulthood is filled
with a multitude of changes. It is helpful to get inside your
child?s shoes by learning about the various stages of
development. For instance, the other day I stripped my 3-1/2
year to get him ready for his bath. I said, ?Come on, it?s time
for your bath.? He looked at me with the meanest face he could
muster and said, ?NO!? It is much easier to deal with the
defiance if you know that a 3 year olds? mission is to exert his
independence. Here?s this little guy wanting to grow up and be
independent, but he knows deep down, he is still dependent on
mom, and he doesn?t like that. So I picked him up and held him
in front of the mirror. He exercised his most defiant no over
and over until he started laughing. Each stage of life, from
infant to young adult, brings new behaviors and new growth.
Educate yourself so you know what to expect from your child.
Sometimes just understanding that your child is ?normal? will
help you relax as a mother.
Don?t Be Afraid to Discipline No one likes being around an
unruly child. Children with a lack of discipline make motherhood
stressful and less than pleasurable. Our job as mothers is to
raise respectful, productive and loving adults. In order to do
this, we need to teach our children boundaries. They need to
know what acceptable and unacceptable behavior is. You have to
set limits and avoid setting up a child-centered family.
Children need to understand they are a part of a family and each
individual has their own needs. Help them work together with
other family members to create a peaceful and loving
environment. An effective and disciplined family unit is truly a
wonderful adventure. Be Intentional about Motherhood What would
make motherhood more enjoyable for you? Take the time to reflect
on what needs to change in your family to increase the level of
enjoyment for you. Be intentional about those changes. Maybe you
want to make time to take care of yourself as a mother. Perhaps
you long to be a more consistent parent. This month I am
focusing on encouraging independence in my family. My motto is
?everyone will do what they are capable of doing for
themselves.? Not only does this teach my children valuable
skills, it frees me from unnecessary responsibility and gives me
more time to be with my family. Setting intentions help you
create a life you love. Keep a Positive Reflection Journal How
do you want to see your children and your family life? Do you
want to see motherhood as challenging or delightful? If you
focus on the undesirable aspects of your family, then that is
the experience you will create. If however, you can concentrate
on the positive qualities of your children and your journey, you
will create a rewarding family life. At the end of every day,
take the time to record in a journal all the positive things
your children said or did that day. Reflect on all the fun you
had that day. Notice the wonderful qualities of each person in
your family. And on your bad days when you find yourself
wondering why on earth you ever decided to have children, pull
out your journal and remind yourself what a truly amazing
journey you are on.
About the author:
Lori Radun, CEC - Certified Life Coach for moms. Lori writes a
FREE monthly ezine for moms who want coaching and encouragement
on living peaceful, balanced and fulfilling lives. To subscirbe,
go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com.
|
|
|
