As a young consultant I really thought I had it all together. I
was getting great ratings, great raises, and wonderful accolades
from clients. Because I (in my own mind) thought I was such hot
stuff, I was not active in seeking out advice from more
experienced colleagues. After all, what could they teach me?
As I matured from an inexperienced hot-shot to an experienced
manager, I developed a much stronger appreciation for the wisdom
my more experienced colleagues could impart. This appreciation
didn't happen naturally; I had to get my butt chewed off a bunch
of times to realize that a wiser and more experienced colleague
could help me get through the tough times and learn from my
mistakes. I also needed a wiser colleague to hold a mirror up to
my face to help me see my weaknesses. I needed (and still need)
a mentor to help me be more effective as a leader.
Whether for personal or professional reasons, having a mentor to
turn to for advice and counsel is a very effective means of
transforming knowledge into wisdom. Before I go any further,
let's get a definition of wisdom in place:
Knowledge + Experience = Wisdom
In a mentoring relationship, a mentoree, or person being
mentored, typically brings a lot of knowledge to the table. The
mentoree has learned the fundamentals of how to do his or her
job and can probably do the basics well. The mentor, or the
person doing the mentoring, provides experience. The mentor
provides perspective on what to do when things aren't optimal or
when difficult situations crop up. When the experience from the
mentor is transferred to the mentoree, it accelerates the wisdom
building process because the mentoree now doesn't have to learn
solely through his or her own mistakes. The mentoree is able to
learn from a combination of his own mistakes and the mentor's
advice.
For mentoring relationships to work well, I've found several
items to be very important:
The mentor should not have a direct reporting relationship with
the mentoree. The mentoree can feel free to speak about issues
which may be plaguing him without fear of retribution from a
boss.
The mentor must want to be a mentor. Mentoring is an incredibly
important responsibility that is likely over and above any other
existing responsibilities. If the leader doesn't want to be a
mentor, she is going to view the time spent mentoring as a
nuisance.
The mentoree should have a desire for a mentor. The mentoree
needs to see the value in the relationship and have a desire to
benefit from the relationship, otherwise both parties will just
go through the motions until their time is over.
Be a best-in-class mentor by zeroing in on these five
attributes:
1. Be available for your mentoree - You need to define how much
time you are able to spend in a mentoring relationship and
commit the time to do it. If you're just too busy to mentor,
don't do it.
2. Make listening a priority - A mentor who listens will
understand the struggles and issues a mentoree experiences and
can better help him with a solution. The best listening mentor
assumes little when talking with the mentoree; she lets the
mentoree communicate his struggles and issues, then targets what
is most important. Just as important, a listening mentor builds
trust with the mentoree.
3. Keep confidences - Any particulars about the mentoring
relationship are between the mentor and the mentoree, period. As
a mentor, assume that everything about the relationship is off
limits for others and ensure that if anything about the
relationship is found out it is because the mentoree has
divulged it, not you as the mentor. 4. Tell it straight -
Mentoring relationships where the mentor and mentoree can have
direct and constructive discussions are highly beneficial to the
mentoree's growth. Telling it straight means discussions are
constructive, respectful, and specific. Just remember to build
trust in the relationship first by being a good listener and
keeping confidences.
5. Have the courage to stop if the relationship isn't working -
If you're having a difficult time connecting on common
interests, if meetings with the mentoree feel like more of an
obligation versus something you look forward to, or if mentorees
don't pursue meeting, it may be time to call it quits. Some
relationships just aren't meant to be, so accept it and move on.
Do look at the reasons the relationship didn't work out and look
for patterns you as a mentor should address that maybe you can
work on with your mentor.
Put these five attributes into action to help you be a
best-in-class mentor. Do this well and you give something
priceless to your mentoree: wisdom.
About the author:
Lonnie Pacelli has over 20 years' experience with Accenture and
Microsoft and is currently president of Leading on the Edge?
International. Lonnie's books include "The Project Management
Advisor: 18 Major Project Screw-Ups and How to Cut Them Off at
the Pass" and "The Truth About Getting Your Point Across". Get
the books, leadership products and a free email mini seminar at
http://www.leadingonedge.com.
|
