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Timothy Ward Is Hotter Than You
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Author: Timothy Ward
Topic: Humor
Viewed: 56 time(s)
[ Not Rated Yet ]
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Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come
instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing
the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like
time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working.
While some writers find that long walks or exercise help them to
invoke the muse, I've found that cruising along through
cyberspace with no particular place to go helps to stimulate
that corner of my brain that holds great ideas. Sometimes when I
need a little more stimulation I even go as far as drinking a
few Bud Lights. The things I do to please my readers...
One of my favorite websites to visit when I've had a few beers
is HotorNot.com. If you haven't heard of HotorNot.com then I
suggest you click over there real quick and check it out. I'm
far too buzzed to go into a detailed description right now. I'll
pause while everyone clicks over. (PAUSE) Ok! Is everyone back?
Good! And now that we all know what HotorNot.com is all about I
can continue with my ranting.
I like HotorNot.com because it allows me to look at women
without the risk of them calling me a 'pervert' or 'freak'. In
fact I can stare at the women on HotorNot.com as long as I want
and none of them will call me a psychpath, or worse, call the
police.
I also love the fact that I get to rate the women after I've
finished oogling over them. Any man will tell you that this is
basically what we do anyway. We look at a women and then we rate
her in our heads. Of course our rating scale is not so much
'from one to ten' as it is 'would I sleep with her or not', but
it's essentially the same concept.
I hate the pictures of woman that have men in them as well. I
find it hard to rate a women if she has her boyfriend standing
there next to her. If I give her a 9 does that mean that he gets
a 9 as well? I may not think that he is a 9. Not that I'm
judging men. But then again maybe I am. I'm not gay or anything
but I know an ugly man when I see one. But that doesn't mean I'm
comfortable rating them.
I finally got up the nerve to put my picture on HotorNot.com.
Actually, it wasn't so much getting up the nerve as it was
getting up the money to get my picture developed onto a CD so
that I could upload it. I'm an admitted cheapskate and even
though it only cost $2.82 I still had to work the added expense
into the budget. Now that my pictures online I wake up every
morning and check my stats to see hat rating people are giving
me. Today when I checked I was up to a 7.2! That means that I am
hotter than 69% of the men on the site! At least that what it
says on my statistics page. That means that for every 100 males
that post their pctures on Hotornot.com only 31 of them can do
as good as me in the looks department. I'll be sure to bring
that up at my 10 year high school reunion. Every one else may
have great careers as doctors, lawyers, mystery shoppers, et
cetera, but has all of cyberspace voted them into the 'Top 35
Percentile of Hotness'. I think not.
You can click here:
target=new>http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=ERELALO&key=HNY to
rate my picture. However, I warn you that I have contacts in the
Russian underworld and I'd hate to have to send the Gormanilov
brothers after you because you gave me a 4 or below. I might be
just a tad bit biased but I think I'm easily a 8. Then again
that may just be the liquid stimulation talking...
About the author:
Timothy Ward has decided to go on a hunger strike until his
humor column, 'I Never Said I Was Normal', gets over 1000
subscribers. You can help to end his fast by visiting timward.1afm.com
and signing up. Please hurry, his ribs are already showing.
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