So what do you do during half-term? Are you one of those parents
who has everything organised so well that Little Bob or Little
Sheila is off to grandma?s before they could say ?but Grandma?s
blind and in a wheelchair?. Where you would promptly respond by
handing them a bag of videos and told to ?hush child before I
beat you?. Or are you one of the many who spend the best part of
the week rushing from NW to SE in a desperate bid, begging
friends and family members to ?could you do the Tuesday love,
I?ll pay you in kind? So there I was one year, thinking, I just
don?t feel like doing the half-term thing this time. True to my
decision, after the first day with the kids I made the stern
decision to escape, leaving them with their father. I knew that
if I did not disappear very soon, it would?ve been detrimental
to my children?s health. So wishing their father good luck,
adios, condolences and leaving no survival tips with him, I
leapt off into the sunset to travel the 1 hour?s journey to
North London. And as I went, I giggled insanely at thoughts of
him trying to cope; visions of him trying to find his stress
reliever, his bottle of Jack Daniels, or bottle of Prozac which
I made sure I gave to next door?s cat before I left. Over the
years, whist doing the school holidays thing I have had to find
means and ways of keeping myself intact and sane. Those violent
tendencies, which try to surface once in a while, well more than
a while now since the eldest one?s rampaging hormones have
kicked in at the tender age of 13 (the teenaged years just isn?t
funny when one is a parent) and the 8 year old thinks he?s a
teenager ? those violent tendencies have had to be suppressed
with my dear friend ?Prozac.? I have also upped the amount of
time and the level of training I do at the gym. This therapy is
what has proved to be a saviour. At times like these, I release
so much aggression that were I not dedicated to working out
several times a week, I would certainly react rather badly to my
children, with a rope and a bag of bricks. (Well, in thought
only, but sometimes peeps, they could take me there believe.) So
it was a novelty to spend ?hush time? at my sisters? home, not
having to do all those routine things a mother normally has to
do. So, there I was at my sisters? house, living the life of a
single person. If we felt like eating we ate. If we felt too
idle and the effort to even put on a couple slices of toasts too
taxing, we sat, watched tv, then so the pain didn?t kill us
before the hunger did, we?d opt to go to bed early. This was
also a rather pleasant time as I was privileged to venture out
to the cinema, go out for meals and walks ? with no-one in tow
fighting or trying to beat the brains out of each other. I was
also able to keep my hard earned cash where it belonged without
someone trying to fleece me of it for things ranging from
chocolate to playing cards. Neither did I do any laundry,
washing, or ironing for a whole week ? pure indulgence.
Therefore, my stress-levels behaved rather well, thank you very
much. That was until the children decided that it was imperative
and a matter of life or death to call me every hour on the hour.
Their little voices constantly bleating ?we miss you, come back,
we promise to beeeeeehave?. And yes, I did feel sorry for them
and I too missed them terribly. Therefore, as a result of these
traumatic feelings, and the burden that now lay heavily upon my
heart I decided to stay away for another week ? and to enjoy a
bit more of life?s pleasurable moments of freedom. Therefore, in
light of the above, I sent their father a book by the Dalai
Lama, which captured the elements of peaceful living. As a token
of goodwill I also sent a barrel full of Trazodone and Paxil
(all anti-depressants) and a bottle of vodka ? with a note
stating ?take yer pick? and ?wish you were ere.?
About the author:
Esther Austin is in her late thirties and is of Barbadian
parentage. She is a published author of comedy, poetry and
inspirational books, published under Think Doctor Publications
Ltd. She is website Director of www.caribbeanwoman.co.uk. She
has two boys, lives in London and loves going to the theatre,
loves writing, eating out, playing football, and generally being
physically active.
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