A near middle-aged man in one of my last workshops had followed
his calling for the past decade with unbounded zeal. Alas, his
career had never developed into long-term employment but rather,
was fraught with numerous set-backs, lay-offs and even
dismissals. With five children to feed and his life passion now
shelved this man faced depression and desperation.
Yet, we could all borrow a page from this man?s heroic story as
he further explained how he was managing this most difficult
passage. He said rather than allowing himself to be crushed by
these demeaning events he emphatically reminded himself of his
numerous life successes. Through this, he refueled his belief in
himself enabling him to persevere with a measure of dignity.
All of us could benefit from focusing on our many successes.
Stop now and list at least ten of your life successes. Reminding
ourselves frequently of our accomplishments rather than nagging
ourselves with our so-called ?failures? is the crux of finding
meaning and peace in work and life.
If we can?t encourage and support ourselves now, the ?ideal job?
will not supply us with the happiness or fulfillment we seek. If
your self confidence is being tested by unemployment,
underemployment, a new promotion, a job interview, child
raising, or life (!) affirm your successes and renew your faith
in yourself. We can?t wait for other people to bolster our
confidence and nourish our being!
Nourish Your Being
Turning fifty years old this week supplied me with the perfect
opportunity to either nourish or negate myself and my life. As I
reflected upon the last decade of my life I found warm comfort
in the woman I have become. Not always so. As I reread my
?Fortieth Birthday? column, I?d written for a local newspaper a
decade ago, I could clearly see how far I?d come.
Back then, my fortieth birthday reflections led me to grieve. I
had left behind decades of broken relationships and lost
businesses ? all strung together by my deep need to be loved and
approved of by others. Within that column, I spoke with somber
sadness of not wanting to repeat my broken past in the next half
of my life. In closing that Fortieth Birthday column I made an
earnest wish for myself, I wished ?to live the next forty years
being true to myself.?
Rereading this column showed me clearly my wish had come true
this past decade. This priceless gift affirmed how far I?d grown
from that 40 year old woman who had abandoned herself ? for
decades ? seeking inner worth, love and acceptance through
external props and people. How remarkable to have unearthed this
time-capsuled treasure, written a decade ago, upon my fiftieth
birthday!
We can all give ourselves this priceless gift of affirming our
lives and nourishing our being by pondering our past and seeing
how far we have come. Our mistakes no longer have to be
something we punish ourselves for. Now, we can make an effort to
have compassion for ourselves and give thanks for the lessons
learned.
By performing these small rituals of remembering and affirming
our lives, we nourish and build our being. It is in here,
inside, we build a strong, solid foundation that can help us
weather the storms of life. Through building a strong sense of
self we can find a new freedom.
Freedom at Fifty
The slogan ?Freedom at Fifty? takes on a new spin when I think
of how free I am now compared to when I tried so hard to please
everyone. The disease to please, often driven by feelings of
insecurity and unworthiness can be chronic and life debilitating
if left unchecked. Do you balance your needs for quiet, private
time with the needs and demands of work, career-search, family,
friends, life?
A client of mine, aged ?fifty-something,? regularly stops and
asks herself, ?What do I want/need here?? She went on to say
that now, in her fifties, she is able to set boundaries with her
family as never before. We both affirmed we have discovered a
real freedom in our fifties.
Before you accept that next job, take on another task, commit to
someone else?s agenda - stop. Take some time and ask yourself,
?What do I need here?? How can we hope to find our Way if we do
not listen to ourselves or find time for ourselves?
About the author:
Teresa Proudlove is the publisher/editor of www.yourlifework.com:
support and inspiration for your work and life. Teresa has been
inspiring, supporting, and mentoring over 3000 people upon their
lifework path for fourteen years, leading workshops and
authoring many internationally published articles.
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